Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
