i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize