Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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