is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My bed smells like the plague
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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