this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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