Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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