I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
