i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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