CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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