Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
