He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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