He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
