So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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