That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
