Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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