THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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