cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
