i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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