She just used a chaser for red wine.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
