You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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