Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
