hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
