I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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