You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Buhtt sex?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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