My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
