i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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