Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no you cant smoke seaweed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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