I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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