I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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