You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
