I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize