what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
