OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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