I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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