so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
