I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
