Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
