seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
