who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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