Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
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Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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