its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
