then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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