What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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