No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
