I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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