My pussy is not your playground.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
