He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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