I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
