There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Randomize
