My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
