I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
