I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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