It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize