called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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