I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
