i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
