your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
