Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
