Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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