I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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