where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize