I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize