you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
