is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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