im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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