Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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