I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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